She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
