I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I licked your asshole in confidence.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
