Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
