Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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