at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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