Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
