real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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