maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
