South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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