I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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