The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
