Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Text me some of your sweat
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
