Its about making memories worth repressing
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
