with your own penis?
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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