Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
