god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
