Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
