yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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