do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
