toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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