I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
