i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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