At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
