You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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