I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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