Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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