You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
