How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have aggressive nipples.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
