do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
