i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Boobs are out for the taking
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
