Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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