they need to just BURY HIM!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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