Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just high enough for therapy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize