I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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