Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
