I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I've blown a few things in my day
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
