I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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