I cockslap morals
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
