It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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