If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
home. puking in laundry basket.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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