Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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