Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
