Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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