You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
