i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
