Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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