I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
