she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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