We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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