I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
