I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
