i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
