why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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