she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
