I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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