i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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