Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
