it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
