I want to walk on stilts...naked
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
