i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
