You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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