he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
