Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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