I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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