I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize