She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this just has baby written all over it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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