Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
